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Post by X factor on Aug 20, 2023 20:10:43 GMT -5
 If I had to work today, I'd of been doomed. |
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Post by X factor on Sept 11, 2023 17:17:34 GMT -5
When feeling bad the day after drinking, sometimes you want to drink some more, to stop feeling so bad.
But the best way to not feel bad is to not drink at all, of course.
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Post by X factor on Sept 16, 2023 18:39:34 GMT -5
In the past, this would have been the perfect day/night for me to drink, after coming off a stressful day yesterday, and a shortened work day today to mechanical failure of assigned equipment
Yes, in the past, this would of been a prime day for me to drink my brains out, and release so much pinned up anxiety and tensions, but not this time.
And or, in the past, to even go out, which I haven't done in years.
So instead, I sit at home alone, full of thoughts, reflections of yesterday and my future.
I'm in better physical shape than many, who are my age, and or even younger, and I don't realize that until go to events.
Even though I drink at times, I still work out and work a blue collar job.
But ye, just not really in the mood to drink right now, for a variety of reasons.
Haven't had a drink since Tuesday, so like 4 days or so.
Lord knows I sure could use one right now, all the money I spent yesterday trying to help others, for nothing, and then having a shortened work day today, money doesn't just grow on trees, I have to earn painful hour by hour....and the older you get the harder it gets to do that.
Drinking only makes aging more difficult.
Anyways, let me try to salvage what's left of this day and create a 'to do list'.
It's Saturday.
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Post by X factor on Oct 4, 2023 22:07:17 GMT -5
With as much as I used to drink, I'm lucky to still be alive.
I stopped drinking hard liquor years ago though, now and then I still do, but only in those really tiny bottles.
That, and I workout, and my diet is decent, and I don't stress, or try not to.
But drinking, sugar, and stressing, will for sure send you to early grave.
Oh, and also, I rarely ever go to the doctor, and I don't do drugs, not prescribed or illegal, that probably has a lot to do with it.
And I wasn't dumb enough to get vaccinated, that probably saved my life/heart as well.
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Post by X factor on Oct 5, 2023 20:38:46 GMT -5
I've gotta learn how to be happy again, without drinking.
I've gotta learn how to feel happy again, without drinking.
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Post by X factor on Oct 8, 2023 11:10:42 GMT -5
I still drink Bud Light, I could give a whatever  I still drink Bud Light, (actually was never a Bud Light type, but occasionally drink it now when only beer available) Dillan M, means nothing to me, and in no way shape or form affects my drinking habits. I don't care if they're gay, or faking like they're gay or trans...or cross dresser, or Hindu, none of it affects me...so i continue to drink whatever beer I feel like drinking, regardless who are what is on the cover... I'm not that thin skinned like muffin Rock is...
What a immoral sissy punk muffin Rock is in this video, what happened to them??
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Post by X factor on Oct 15, 2023 9:29:17 GMT -5
It's Sunday  It's Sunday, and well, I don't know, some how, some way, I'm still here. I'm posting in this section cause, well, drinking can make me express some goofy, and out and right ugly things towards others at time, not that they don't deserve it, but it's who you express it to that matters. I expressed it to the wrong person, I suppose...oh well, had I not been drinking none of it would of occurred. I need to stop drinking, not that I drink more or less than others who drink, I mean I go days without drinking a beer, but my problem is when I do finally drink, I go for gold, or binge drink, but at home. But do to the internet, social media, texting, you can still raise Cain, while at home, cause the internet/phone, makes your reach endless. There should be like a breatholizer for the internet or phone...and if to drunk, cannot use any....think how many embarrassing moments such a device would save people or have saved people from over the years. Anyways, it's Sunday, I better create a 'to do list', or I won't do anything but mentally drift
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Post by X factor on Oct 17, 2023 20:38:04 GMT -5
There comes a time when self-love will step in and save you from yourself When it comes to destroying your health, either through drinking, substance abuse, or even overeating or eating poorly, when all else fails, if wired right, then usually self-love will step in and save the day, but self-love can be complex, cause often times that self-love depends on who's in your life, or who you want to impress and or not disappoint. If alone, and without hope, than sometimes self-love can be slow to kick in. With me, I don't know if it's so much self-love or me not wanting to let someone down whom I'll be visiting soon, in that I have to be, want to be, at my mental and physical best....and I can't be that if drinking up until the last minute I'm do to visit. Drinking actually makes you look uglier, ya know? Drinking makes your face 'fat', or fatter, and pudgy looking, and skin not as smooth. Anyways, I had enough self-love to stop drinking for the day, or night, just didn't feel right. No longer sure if things will ever work out right, not sure if we were all meant for a fairytale life or ending, probably most of us weren't. And with that being said, happy October, and yes, Halloween is right around the corner.
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Post by X factor on Oct 21, 2023 22:38:18 GMT -5
Alcohol makes you weak, in more ways than oneI realize now that I'm weak, alcohol has made me very weak and frail on the inside. I used to didn't be that way, sure, youthful zeal had something to do with it, but in general, I wasn't afraid to travel, nor did I really have a comfort zone (And again, that could just be associated with youth, at the time) But I also think, over the last decade or so, or few, since started drinking, it has just made me a weaker person on the inside when sober. Sure, when drunk, I can be like the incredible hulk, in as far as personality goes, but when sober, I often feel so very frail on the inside.  Yes, when sober, confrontations kind of scare me (but only after just stopped drinking, during the early stages or days/weeks of sobriety, but after that my confidence comes back, because when sober for long period of time, I don't say or do things anymore that cause me embarrassment later on. But like the first few days/weeks of sobriety, I just feel so frail and unsure of the world I live in, and those around me.
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Post by X factor on Oct 27, 2023 22:57:59 GMT -5
I know one thing for sure, when drunk I sure do see myself differently than when sober, my gosh, what was I thinking here??  I need to change the kind of beer I drink, or better yet, not drink at all...wow..
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Post by X factor on Nov 13, 2023 21:56:49 GMT -5
I love myself more when I don't drink, so that being said, why do I continue to drink at times? Odd phycology man, odd phycology...  |
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Post by X factor on Nov 13, 2023 21:58:41 GMT -5
When I don't drink, I'm emotionally stronger and better able to cope with life, with life's issues; that being said, why do I continue to drink at times???
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Post by X factor on Nov 22, 2023 22:18:28 GMT -5
The day before Thanksgiving is supposed to be the largest alcohol purchasing day of the year, oddly enough, today, I didn't by any booze I didn't buy any booze today, and hopefully I won't tomorrow, when off, and spending the day alone. I need to straighten my mind up, and drinking during the holidays, especially if and when alone, can be a bad recipe, cause you end up saying a lot of stupid stuff to others over the phone, or through texts, ect. Naugh, this T-day, I just want to be sober, and feel my full range of emotions, good or bad or in between.
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Post by X factor on Nov 26, 2023 20:17:59 GMT -5
I'm going to eat, get fat and drink right now, and I just don't care...life is short, regardless.
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Post by X factor on Dec 10, 2023 10:31:55 GMT -5
I still drink, but I do believe there are certain ingredients in foods, non-alcoholic drinks, that are far worse for our health than a few beers are....in fact I know this.
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