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Post by X factor on Mar 12, 2016 20:02:57 GMT -5
Alcohol will become your last best friend, if not carefulAlcohol will become your last best friend if not careful...  'Ah, come on, just one more drink
let's go heavy one last time
what are ya afraid of, I'm alcohol
I'm your best friend remember?
I help you forget all your problems'As your heart becomes weaker and or diseased do to years of drinking, until one night you do drink one last time, take some aspirin or other relaxer, and then never wake up. You cannot drink heavily and expect to live above the age of 50. People you rarely see above the age of 50 are the obese and heavy drinkers. It's hard, very hard, but unless trying to rush to meet Freddie Krueger in after life, slow down.
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Post by X factor on Mar 12, 2016 22:16:42 GMT -5
When bored, at home, and trying to do anything but drink, nothing in the fridge is safe When trying to stop drinking, and home alone on a Saturday night, nothing in the fridge is safe as you open, close, and re open door as if new food items will appear each time. Then a bite of this, a nibble of that, anything to quench the need for a beer or wine or Rum. A apple, then sardines, then crackers, then a bite of chicken, then a smoothie, by this time stomach is like 'Hey, what the heck?Then some tea, then water, then open this can of beans, or this can of Ravioli, nibble a bit, close can and place in fridge. This goes on all night as you try to substitute drinking with anything, something, other than just sitting. And addiction is as much a part of filling time as anything else. Drinking is a activity, that usually carries on for ours, you're constantly filling belly with beer, ect, then get drowsy and sleep. But when sober, not use to being sober, suddenly have all this awake energy time to fill, but nothing to swallow...  This can be a difficult time for those trying to stop or curtail their drinking habit, is learning how to fill the time, movement, swallowing sensation, with other activities.  'Arh Beavis, don't ever say swallow while looking at me ever again'
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Post by X factor on Mar 24, 2016 18:43:18 GMT -5
Life after drinkingLife after drinking can be a very lonely road...  You go through many phases when you stop drinking, or trying to. The first week is basically meaningless, whether you drink or not, nothing matters until you carry it into the second week. But once the second week, and the highs and lows of the first week have ended, and you've proven that you're serious about stop drinking, that's when the real challenges begin, with self. And self is everything, for when self is gone, nothing exists, so while self is alive, self is everything. How you handle the second week totally depends on why you started drinking to begin with, this will vary for every one. For whatever you were trying to dodge when started drinking, is usually there, or whatever emotions trying to avoid. Fear, depression, let down, ect. All this and more will come back once totally sober again for a few weeks, and now you'll have to face it this time or make the choice to plunge back into drinking. Drinking, like all drugs, is used as a shield, helps shield people from reality that many aren't coped to deal with. But when sober, that reality is still staring you, us, right in the face, but now you have to do something about that reality that's not pleasant, have to change it, walk around it, through it, hop over it, something.  Life won't seem as exiting, projects, moods, attitudes spurned on by drinking, being drunk, will all suddenly end, if alcohol was the sole reason behind it. You'll have to find new fuel to push forward, you'll have to go back to a time in life when woke up happy and optimistic without needing a drink. If years ago, that can be difficult, especially if trying to do it while alone, with no support. And sometimes doing it alone can be best, if people around are still into drinking ect. Hard to go sober if everyone around you is still drinking. No easy path to sobriety, in the end you have to want to do it for self, self preservation to one degree or another.
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Post by X factor on Apr 1, 2016 15:50:22 GMT -5
Now what?
So you stop drinking, and the 'thrill' of stop drinking has wore off, now what?
Did you really have a passion for all 'those things', or was it all fueled by alcohol?
Being sober can be very sobering, in that you really go through an adjustment level, a reality check a mood and enthusiasm for life check.
And being sober often reminds you why you preferred to be drunk all the time, at least it gave you a sense of anticipation, even though in reality nothing to anticipate.
Then the people you could barely tolerate while drunk, you can't tolerate at all when sober, and want nothing to do with them.
When sober, it seems sometimes you see with to much clarity, nothing can fake you out, nor do you want to be faked out.
Your senses come back, and that's good if in a position, environment to capitalize on those senses, but if in drabby environment, it can almost become more hellish when being sober just reminds you you're in a type of hell.
When sober, things that irritate you can no longer be laughed at or away, now it's just there in your face.
No immediate easy answer here, just reality.
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Post by X factor on Dec 4, 2016 9:51:20 GMT -5
When drunk, have 125 friends, when sober you realize you only have one friend, yourself
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Post by X factor on Jan 13, 2017 22:15:00 GMT -5
Alcohol, the Seductive Trap
You can only hope that when drunk, or drinking, that the next day you did not make to much of
a fool of yourself around friends or even strangers.
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Post by X factor on Jan 13, 2017 22:58:28 GMT -5
When drunk, you talk with people you normally dislike, then next day feel stupid about it...
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Post by X factor on May 29, 2017 10:04:29 GMT -5
Alcohol, the seductive trap
When I do drink, when off from work, like on weekends and all, I do prefer drinking in the morning, rather than at night.
Safer that way, and that way be evening 'leveled off', rather than leveling off when have to wake up for work.
And if drunk during day, less trouble can get into, where as at night, so many traps set for you if drunk, bars, clubs, cops and more.
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Post by X factor on Jul 8, 2017 19:10:58 GMT -5
If America is such a happy fulfilling place, than why are so many hooked on drugs, or alcohol, opiods and more?
What are folks so unhappy about later in the land of dreams?
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Post by X factor on Jul 8, 2017 19:14:41 GMT -5
If America is such a happy fulfilling place, than why are so many hooked on drugs, or alcohol, opiods and more? What are folks so unhappy about later in the land of dreams? A lot of people on these drugs have families, lovers, wives, 'Love' in their lives, and more, all the things I do not, as such don't get why people with seemingly good lives take such a narrow spiral downward. |
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Post by X factor on Dec 15, 2018 21:09:53 GMT -5
In one of those yucky moods
In one of those yucky moods, where you're done drinking, still have gross after effect, yet to soon to start drinking again, so you just sit, not motivated to do anything.
I call it the yucky moment, which can last for hours.
I never go out anymore, never, and if and when I do drink, while off, I do so early on, I never drink at night or evening, cause to many crazy things can happen then.
I use to drink at night, and then 'go out', and for the life of me I'm one lucky rock, when I look back at all the things that could have gone wrong.
It's one thing to make a fool out of self while online, it's another thing to make a fool out of yourself while out in public.
I use to get drunk, then ride bike around and say the dumbest things to people.
Again, Fate or 'God' must have been looking out, if I tried that now I doubt I'd be so lucky.
And now days people are gun happy, I mean you say one wrong thing, even if joking around, and you get shot or shot at.
If everyone was garunteed 50 gran a year, I wonder if crime would go down, or drop?
I don't know what I'm going to do in the future, I mean rent keeps going up, but pay sure doesn't...at times it just looks so bleak.
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Post by X factor on Dec 23, 2018 18:42:12 GMT -5
I think you know you're a alcoholic when you're willing to spend more on alcohol than food.
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Post by X factor on Jan 25, 2019 16:07:17 GMT -5
Ready to give alcohol up
I'm ready to give alcohol up
1. Tired of only utilizing 30-40% of my 'off time' do to drinking, cause when you drink to get drunk, you only care about what you're doing while peaking, and then peaked, but after that, sleep or bed as sickly feeling begins to set in, and not interested in anything else until feel 'whole' again just so can start process over again.
2. Drinking no longer serves me, in that I don't go out anymore, so whom or what am I getting 'lose' for? Myself?
3. Tired of post drinking feeling of feeling sickly, and unhealthy, that whole hang over feeling, I mean what's the point of that anymore at my age?
4. And just general health, cause sooner or later something is bound to give.
5. Economic savings, I mean even if just buy 4 pack a day, at minimum that's 28 x 4 = $112.00 a month, minimum in savings, but actually more like $150 or more in savings.
And could give a few more reasons, but I'm just tired of being a hostage to alcohol.
I was about to go buy some beer, and more, than paused on porch, sunny out, nice day, and I was like 'why?', I was like why am I eager to go make self or buy stuff that will simply make me feel sick again?
What's the point?, I asked myself, and for whatever reason I finally kind of answered and said 'You know what, you're right, there is no point to this madness'.
Will it last?, who knows, but either way we all need this juncture in order to kind of 'wake up'.
Not saying being sober all the time is the cure to what ails my or our lives, but it's a start, a productive start.
And if sober, don't have to worry about embarrassing self all the time when drunk, while talking to people over the phone and making stupid, outlandish claims about myself or abilities.
Just tired of this whole circular process of sober, drunk, sober, drunk BS, it's not benefiting me anymore in any way shape or form.
I'm simply destroying self.
It's time this stops.
We shall see.
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Post by X factor on Jan 25, 2019 18:49:48 GMT -5
I really want my life back, or what's left of it.
Tired of feeling scared, unless buzzed or drunk, cause the window to feeling brave just keeps shrinking as tolerance level rises, yet bodies reaction to alcohol gets worse.
Not as in sick worse, but gut hang over worse.
There's no happy spot anymore, for those, who over drink or over do any type of substance, that happy spot just shrinks and then all together goes away.
I just hope I'm not addicted to alcohol, guess I'll find out after 2 days, cause that's usually when craving and all kicks in, we shall see.
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Post by X factor on Jan 25, 2019 20:21:56 GMT -5
The first night is always the hardest
The first night is always the hardest, sort of (not really, it's usually the second night or 3rd)
But the first night is still very hard, in that it's easy to repent when still in 'Jail', per say, also it's easy to say 'never again', while still under the effects of your last drinking bout, as in 'hang over'.
It's not until all signs of hang over are gone, will true test come about.
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