Alone

I think my only purpose in life anymore is just to be left alone



Yes, I think that's my only purpose anymore, is to be left alone and not bothered by anyone.

For years and years I always wanted to help others succeed and get ahead, but seems no one ever wanted to help me succeed and get ahead, ever.

And now I watch these same people just getting older and used, not by me, but by those they chose to be around.

I see women, daily, chose to date dead beat guys, and I see guys, daily, who chose to date gold digger type women, or women they no goodness well would not make a good wife or parent to their hobbits, if they decided to have any, and now days seems every single woman in urban areas has to have hobbits...married or not, why should not being married slow anyone down, seems to be their reasoning now days.

Me, I just trudge along all by lonesome self and never bug anyone.

That's what mystifies others about me, is cause I really don't exist at all, cause I bug no one, never go anywhere, and stay to myself.

But I've learned that even when stay to yourself and bug no one, people can and do still whisper about you, make up stuff that can never ever be confirmed, then it makes them guilty so they avoid you rather than apologize for assuming stuff about you that wasn't true.

It's funny cause when people 'pry' on me it's as if they're looking right back in on themselves.

Anyways, I'm done trying to figure others out, I just don't care anymore (is what current mood has me saying)...I just want to be left alone, I think that's my only purpose in life anymore.

I wonder how many people can better relate to this section 'Alone', after the C- virus shut ins?

The Zone always way way ahead of the curb, and funny this section here has been around for years prior to the C-virus outbreak, where now many find themselves socially isolated for precautionary reasons.

Many have 'cracked', committed suicide, started drug or alcohol use, and other destructive behavior as a result of being 'alone'...well, no read what it's like here, to be 'alone', day in and day out.

The best remedy is simply to write about it, and or read what others have written about it.

Welcome to the Twylight Zone.

I don't want the attention of others anymore, I did, when I thought others were 'good', but not really anymore, attention from others can be bad and disruptive cause everyone is calibrated differently, everyone has a different 'spin' on things.

Every ones head, mind, is full of crap that makes them interpit things differently.

And rather than people confirming if what's in their head true or not, most just run with their perspective.

As such, right now, alone does indeed feel safe.

Careful what you wish for when alone



Careful what you wish for when alone....

'When I'm alone, I wish for many things, mainly to not be so alone, I wish for things that would probably scare others, I do with to be 'handled' by something much bigger and larger than myself, to be comforted by something much bigger and larger than myself, and I don't think man can fulfill that anymore, so my mind conjures up odd creatures to do that for me, creatures that aren't afraid of me like man is'

In a way, women or females are lucky, in that they can create instant love and affection towards self simply by having babies or a mild, instant family, instant sense of purpose, instant everything you need to feel alive and human.

But males can't do that, and no, pets don't count.

A male has to be invited into someone's life in order to feel those things that are so vital to being alive and mentally healthy.

Yes males can and obviously do take part in reproduction, but all the mother increasingly does is kick the male out once the novelty of 'Love and Romance' wears off, so the male is off into 'nothingness' again, while the woman has her package of love.

Bad Ben

Is this me?