Roomates...pros and cons...

There's so many odd roommate adds out there...

If you find a good roommate...it can be heaven, if you find bad one, it can be hell.

You just never know.
People lie, will say anything for place to crash.

But giving someone else the keys to where you live...that a lot of trust.

Like this add here...some one found out the hard way that this person is trouble...

this person is trouble...

I just look at adds from various cities, towns, across this land...
It's amazing, sad, what some are going through, have to put up with, risk, just for roof over head.

Are you letting a angel or devil into your place?
And is it really worth the extra 2-400 a month you may save?

I think I enjoy living alone, in an empty place...the quiet is like therapy.

Not really sure what type of person I'd be comfortable opening my place up to...maybe a Nun...

Gay man, seeking gay/bi/straight roommate for waterfront property

This gay man is seeking gay/bi/straight roommate...but leads with the fact that they themselves are 'gay'...

But also leads with the fact that all they want is a roommate, and that they see the arraignment as 'strictly business'...

Business or no business, when it comes to sharing your personal space with someone else, personal taste is always involved.
No one want's to share space with someone they find ugly and unattractive.

The only way you can get away with being unattractive to someone is if you have a ton of money, or are their relative.

But strangers generally want someone attractive living with them...

No one, gay or straight, wants to wake up to this every morning...



The danger though, with a openly gay roommate, is the 'crush' factor...the last thing you want is for your roommate, male or female, to develop a 'crush' on you.

Once someone develops a crush on you, the dynamics totally change, things can get complicated.

And once they think or sense you yourself start to like them, then they may see that as it being ok for them to 'slack' on paying rent, cleaning ect.

'Well, since they like me, they won't mind if I'm short on rent, or eat their food, after all, we're practically a couple now anyways'...

You don't want that to occur or things will get messy.

But back more specifically to gay or straight roommate.

I think it still really comes down to behavior and presentation of self, or how they behave and present self.

Bill paying, paying rent on time, has to be the number one qualifier...

And two, I think it comes down to whom people they think they can control...



A younger gay male roommate would be far less intimidating than a older heavyset hulk Hogan type male gay roommate to some.

The younger gay 'cute' roommate is someone most feel they could control...not quite set in their ways yet, and still able to be 'molded'...

But an older gay heavy set Steve Goldburg type roommate might scare some...



Not sure how many would feel comfortable with a heavier, older, biker type gay male roommate who might bring rowdy huge gay friends over for parties.

Most don't realize gay men/women, come in all shapes, sizes and colors...

There is no standared 'gay' template.

Most gay males/females, totally reflect, resemble the hetro community, and very few fit the stereotypical theatrical template.

Gay people blend in, have been blending in, for centuries, as a mode of survival...most don't want to be 'detected, and so have mastered the art of looking 'normal'...

You will find many gay males in gyms, bulking up, as many gay males are into fitness, big time, and are attracted to other guys who are fit, and toned.

The sissy, pink dress, type of gay male is kind of one of humorous Hollywood skits.

Although they exist to.

Then you have cross dressers who may or may not be gay.

You have fem gays, masculine gays, straight gays, closet gays...on and on.

Maybe I'll start another section just dealing with this subject cause it's so vast.

But as far as roommate goes...good luck in your search...but mainly find someone who can pay rent, is honest, not a thief, has income, and no phycological issues...

People seem to think you want to babysit them...

When someone moves in, if there for more than 2 days, they think they own place and you...
They like adopt you as their caretaker...now you're responsible for their emotions, fate, food, heat, clothing and more.

When you're struggling yourself, why would you want to take on someone else who'll be more of a burden than help?

Any time you get a response like this "Hi, my name is..."...it's fake...phoney, a scam...avoid any adds where the person starts off by saying 'Hi, my name is.....'

Roommate or no roommate...that is the question many ask, including myself...

A few reasons some may want roommates...

1. To save money on rent, mortgage.

2. Companionship.

3. Security.

Those are the main reasons...

Like with 3's Company...

A roommate or roommates have to become your friends...that's just the nature of living close up with people...



I mean lets face, if you're living with 1 or 2 others, it's imperative that everyone gets along.

And forms a bond.

No one wants to room with someone they don't get along with.

Great things can come from having a roommate...they can grow on you, and you one them..like an unofficial marriage.

But if you get the wrong one, it can be hellish.

If you get someone whom is not trust worthy, after giving them the keys to your place, you'll always be uptight while gone...someone with shady friends, associates, in and out all day, night, stealing stuff.

That's why you have to get copy of drivers license, at a minimum.

And some places, like apartments, only allow roommates if they register with front office...and to me that's smart, cause it protects you.

And if they're not willing to register at front office, than more than likely they're trouble.

Then you have to decide, gay, straight, same gender, opposite gender, pets? ect.

Like I said above...my perfect roommate would be a Catholic Nun....

Behind that a Catholic Priest...but one with hair.

(assuming you could choose by profession).

A retired Senior Citizen would also be ideal to me, to have as a roommate...someone mellow, yet wise...who only wants a secure quiet place to bed, and to read, and relax.

I've heard attractive singly women from the ages of 18-30 are the worst...cause they attract men...and not all the male company they attract may be decent or honest.

Got to remember, most people have friends, and if they have room in your place, they're going to want to invite those friends over...

And if they're paying rent, they're going to want to have that right and privilege.

You won't find rich Lawyers or Doctors or cops or engineers looking for roommates...

Instead you're going to find students, part time workers, warehouse workers, people from the labor class generally.
Mostly people who earn less than $40,000 a year.

Usually single.

Or older folks on fixed incomes.

And you always got to ask them why do they want a roommate? and are they not able to qualify for a house/apartment of their own...that's an important question.

It would be nice if all roommate situations could be like 3's Company...but their not...but if you're careful in your selection, ya just never know...

When it comes to deciding whether or not to get a roommate, it can be very confusing, and often come down to fiscal desperation...

'Should I, should I not, should I, should I not'.

Unfortunatly, roommates are not like pets...



Roommates are not like pets, in that pets are very simple minded, and other than food, and a bit of affection, aren't really a burden on you.

Roommates, humans, are totally the opposite. Do not get a roommate if you think roommate is going to act or behave like a human pet.

People, humans, unlike a pet, have free will, needs, wants, and humans also have intent...and are capable of doing evil.

But all that aside, when one is in fiscal need or hot water, saving anywhere from 200-400 a month can make one open house or apt up to stranger, or friend, willing to pay.

When it comes to roommates, it's best to have a friend or co-worker...total strangers bring all sorts of risks.

And most people looking to be some ones roommate, and can't get apt or house on their own, have reasons for that.

1. Unstable history
2. Criminal past
3. Mentally ill, unbalanced
4. Unemployable

And I could go on and on.

And when people like this move in, they're hard to get rid of.

They can become leaches, after all now they have room, heat and a/c, food, water, a bathroom.

It's not that they're 'evil' per say, but when you have nothing, headed towards nothing, the basics seem like a grand prize you don't want to give up.

And often times strangers have friends they don't tell you about, lovers, and other issues.

Drugs, addictions, odd habits ect...and on top of all of that still can't pay rent on time or even at all.

It's why when you select a roommate you must verify employment...that's key.

And it doesn't hurt to speak to a few references as well, like family members.


I've been on both sides of the fence

I know what it's like to just be 'out there'...after all I use to be HOMELESS, so I know about how it feels to have people look down on you.
But now I've worked way back into system...which is a sham. (but that's for another thread).

So I know both sides of experience.
I know what it's like to be desperate, and to so badly just want some one, any one, to see potential in you, and trust that you're a good person.

I know that feeling, that want, that desire.

But with me, I was truly honest and good...a bit nieve, but none the less a good hearted soul.

Where as others, do to their associations or addictions, aren't the same.

Addiction is a curse..never rent to anyone who has a drug history...or is currently using...never.

It will turn into a nightmare for you.

People who are addicted cannot be trusted, will steal, lie, and even hurt you to get a 'fix'...and if they won't, their associates will.

But as more and more people become poor, struggle fiscally, the idea of getting a roommate runs across more and more peoples minds.

A good roommate can be a blessing, and make your life 10 times easier, but a bad roommate can be a curse, and turn your life upside down.