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Post by X factor on Sept 23, 2014 14:13:04 GMT -5
what most don't realize is people who run roommate adds, themselves are usually experiencing 'rough times', and can't really afford to absorb another persons issues.
People who are thriving, don't run roommates adds.
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Post by X factor on Oct 6, 2014 19:51:04 GMT -5
I actually always think I want a roommate until someone actually calls or responds to addI think the saving money part always sounds good and appealing, but then when someone actually responds to add, or calls, in regards to available room, I chicken out. Not sure why. Sharing a space is no light matter, you normally only share space with family, or best friend or friends you've known for decades. But to suddenly share space with stranger to yourself, simply for rent...I just don't know. The older you get the more territorial you become, I think. You want 'your kitchen' the way it is, your food where it is, your bathroom the way it is. You don't want to hear noise or music coming from another room, when ready to relax. And you don't want the uneasy feeling of someone walking in house or apt at 11 pm at night. Or maybe their body odor, or cologne or perfume smell all up in your place. Or maybe the food they cook leaves behind odd smelling aroma. Or maybe their feet stink.  Then again...what if you like them, what if you actually click and get along, like same music, like same quiet time, have same life's perspective?, then what? Then you become inseparateable, develop roommate crush...then what? Then they leave, and you feel lonely all over again. I don't know, opening place up to a roommate is such a gamble. It if works, it's great, if it doesn't it can be hellish. It's no easy decision. When alone in place, you can do whatever you want, walk around nude, naked, utilize all rooms. But with roommate it becomes zoned off... There's no easy answer here.
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Post by X factor on Dec 22, 2014 20:17:51 GMT -5
I still grapple with whether or not to get a roommate.
It's odd, cause you resist and resist, but once you find right one, fall in love almost immediately with idea.
But that's the trick, finding the right one.
The person you may want as a roommate may not want to be your roommate.
The person you see as ideal, may not see you as ideal....kind of like dating.
Seems the person who sees you as an ideal roommate is always someone you detest.
At least initially
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Post by X factor on Jul 10, 2015 17:41:10 GMT -5
I'm beyond wanting a roommate now.
I realize now no perfect roommate will ever respond to your add, cause if they were 'perfect' than more than likely they wouldn't be looking for a room.
The person who calls, responds to roommate add will 90% of the time physically be just the opposite of what you want.
If you want someone young, they'll be old, if you want someone older, they'll be young.
If you want someone gay or gayish, they'll be super duper straight, and if you want a straight roommate they'll be gay or gayish.
If you want a Christian roommate, you'll only get calls from Muslims or Atheist, and if you want a Muslim roommate you'll only get calls from Jewish people looking to room with you.
Life is just odd like that.
Very few actually get what they want.
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Post by X factor on Sept 3, 2016 15:06:13 GMT -5
I don't think I want a roommate anymore. I thought I did, until one kind of really showed interest. I don't care if male or female, I just don't want a roommate for some reason. I think I've gotten use to just being alone, having whole place to self, there's something relaxing about that, even if struggling fiscally, there's something relaxing about coming how to own place, with no one else in it. I'm the type, I think, that I'm far left or right, in that if ever had a roommate, couldn't imagine life without one, but since don't have one, can't imagine life with one. Sure, it can be exciting at first, but then habits form, and your own place starts to feel like a cage, you're confined to certain areas, that gets old, especially if you don't like the person, or having different styles. Cause when you live with another, and are single, either you're inevidably going to not like them, or fall in love with them or their habits. There's no neutral ground really, when single. And then when you have your first fight, how awkward is that? Soon you don't want to be anywhere near them, but have to, cause it's where you live. Think I'd rather get second job, and come home to empty place, if things get fiscally tight. You only tolerate people when you care about them, if you don't care about them, the slightest thing they do, can annoy you terribly. So if some ones sharing your place, either you have to learn to care about them, or they'll always drive you nuts. And if you begin caring about them, and they're of opposite sox, then that leads to love and romance, unless Janet, Kristy and Jack on 3s Company. Wish you could have like a weeks practice trial run with someone first, to see if it would work out. I think I'm becoming less social now days. I like people, I just don't want them living with me...  But maybe would do me some good, I don't know, not psychic. |
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Post by X factor on Oct 5, 2016 17:35:06 GMT -5
Almost had a roommate the other day, but in the end, I backed out.
I don't really trust myself with a roommate, to be honest.
I don't trust myself with them, nor do I trust them with me.
It would be one thing if I were above and beyond my 'prime', older, ugly, hairy, fat ect...but while in prime, soxuality plays a big role in how people interact when alone together.
I'm still 'soxy', fit, and look good (at least to me, LOL)...and this potential roommate was young, soxy, and still looked good...I just don't trust that combo.
Or maybe I'm just being selfish, I don't know.
Not only that, but I think they were 'gay' or 'bi'...
I mean what if I come home, and there's a bunch of gay and bi people in place?
It's not who you room with that matters, it's who they know, who they attract, who they will invite over on Friday nights, ect.
I don't need that drama.
So for now, will continue to just struggle alone, all by myself.
But at least it's peaceful, and peacefulness in and of itself is worth a lot.
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Post by X factor on Oct 18, 2016 18:42:53 GMT -5
why I ultimately decided against getting a roommate
Yes, I could use the extra 300-400 a month in savings, (assuming they even pay on time or at all)
But ultimately I've decided I don't need nor want a roommate.
Yes, I could use the company, but not from someone who is 'needy', and has needy friends or associates.
I think I'm just beyond needing a roommate, the next roommate I want is a spouse, someone who's committed to me, and me to them, whom I have a future with.
Just not interested in being any ones 'roomie' right now, I mean what does that term even mean?
Are we going to get cozy together or something?
I don't know.
Obviously I just haven't met right person.
I think it's different if you room, for a while, with someone you've already known for years, was raised around, went to school with.
But to room with a complete and total stranger, just not feeling that right now.
And maybe it's I don't trust myself, maybe that's what it is.
If same gender, and attracted to them, may encourage same sox affection stuff, yet if opposite gender and attracted to them, may encourage romance, which could complicate things.
And truth is, no one likes having someone live in close proximity whom not attracted to in one form or another.
Either personality, intellectuality or physicality, or all.
And attraction always comes closer and closer together, no matter what.
It's one thing to have detached basement garage apt, or separate hut or house on property where you're not seeing them every minute, hearing them, sharing fridge...that's one thing, but it's another thing if only separated by a wall.
Anyways, I just don't think a roommate is what I need right now, I'd rather struggle a bit, come up with other ways to earn extra money, than risk happiness and reputation by having a roommate who may bring a world of issues I'm not capable of dealing with.
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Post by X factor on Jan 23, 2017 13:49:48 GMT -5
The whole roommate idea thing againHere I go with the whole idea of a roommate idea again. Like going out to a bar or club, seems you almost have to be drunk, to respond to some of the adds, while drunk (lol) you're like 'Gee, OK, this person seems OK'..But then as soon as sober, you're like 'Why the hell did I tell this person they could live with me!!..  Yes there's ups and downs... Let's do this again...the ups. 1. Save on Rent, up to 50-60% on rent, that's big savings, especially if just barely making it. 2. Wild odd chance could actually new friendship, that could last long after rental agreement done. And that's about it. The downs... 1. New roommate could be loud, play their audio loud and snore at night, and talk in sleep, and other spooky things that keep you awake at night. 2. New roommate could smell, be nasty, have bad hygiene. 3. New roommate could be a thief, go through your stuff while gone. 4. New roommate could invite others over who you don't approve of. 5. New roommate could develop some kind of strange attachment towards you, like the movie 'fatal attraction'. 6. New roommate could move in, and then not pay rent, claim they lost job, and then spend next few months mooching off of you. Also, with roommate, can no longer... 7. Walk around whole place, apartment/house, naked or nude. 8. With new roommate, if use to living alone, have to 'temper' habits, you usually become less creative when another is around, less fun to self, cause now aware someone else is sharing space with you, so tend to 'tighten up'. And I could go on and on. You're basically willing to trade all the negatives for 50-60% reduction in rent or mortgage. Is it worth it? Once you get out of the habit of sharing space, it's very hard to get back use to doing it again. And the roommate you want you never get...if you want someone exiting, you get someone dull. If you want someone young, you get older type If you want older type, you get someone young If you want black, you get white If you want white you get black If you want Arab you get Jew If you want Jew you get Arab If you want LGBTQ you get straight If you want straight you get LGBTQ And so forth, just seems whatever your ideal roommate (in your own mind) the exact opposite responds or ends up moving in do to their ability to pay rent on time. Ideal roommates are usually some one you're attracted to, whether male or female, same gender or not, if sharing space, people generally want to be attracted to person sharing space to. If a male, generally a male wants male roommate to at least be 'Handsome' or 'cute'. If a female, generally a female wants female roommate to be cute and 'kept'..as in stylish. No one wants to room with Igor from the movie Frankenstein.  I guess it just depends on what one's fetish is though, I guess. The older, 40 and above, are usually bland, dull, beyond needing or wanting to look soxy, but more prone to pay rent on time. The younger, although still may be in 'I'm soxy' mode, though they may be more fit, soxier, may not pay rent on time and cause you headache down the road. Matching yourself with proper roommate is not now, or never will be an easy choice. It's kind of simply a roll of the dice. 
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Post by X factor on Mar 29, 2017 17:04:50 GMT -5
When it comes to Roommates, same gender or not?
I don't know, still confused.
I struggle now fiscally, could totally use 50% off on rent every month by having a roommate, assuming they paid on time.
But then again, have been in situations, we all have, were if someone gets on your last nerves, money means zero.
You can't put a price on peace
After all 'peace' is what you want to come home to, is why you work so hard, even if low pay, is to come home to 'peace', peace of mind, quiet, for it's your reset time.
Without that 'peace', you lose place or 'spot' in which to draw down and recover.
Getting a roommate is such a gamble, a big gamble, cause people can fake to be one way when meet, and then other side of them can come out once they 'have you'.
My thing is though, with this post, same sox or opposite sox roommate?
Had F Asian woman call, with 2 cats...
I don't know, we're near same age and all, but I don't know.
I got their voice male, they sound 'sane, but I don't know.
I need fiscal help, not to end up taking care of someone.
I don't know.
And also, with F roommate, is it or would it be harder to 'get rid of them' if not work out?
Females tend to play games, or can, can set you up, and cops always show up believing the F first, questions later.
To me, if a male, than a female roommate is a big liability.
Females can and do lie, if you decide don't want them there, they could call police and lie and say you tried to attack them, and even if name eventually cleared, the mess you'd have to go through proving your innocence could destroy your life.
Having a male roommate, on the other hand, a male would never play that card, do to ego and image thing.
At worst, a male roommate could be 'gay', so what...as long as pay rent on time.
A male roommate would never falsely accuse you of 'rape' or 'soxual harassment'.
I just don't know.
I need to save money, but inviting another soul into your living space can be a scary thing.
That move takes so much dern trust.
You don't know them, there family, their friends, habits, could talk in sleep, walk in sleep, could be infectious and not tell you, could be insane, and not tell you.
And once people move in, they tend to think your place is there place, and in some places it is, after a certain amount of time.
Right now live alone, and struggling, but what I have is 'peace'...whole place to self.
That in and of itself is so valuable.
But also I'm single, and realize that having a roommate, the right one, could enhance life tremendously.
But the key word there is 'right one'.
The right roommate would enhance my life totally, but the wrong one would, could, destroy it.
If I have to think about it this hard, than probably not ready for a roommate.
Confused, as usual, when it comes to this.
Best thing I can do is call them, feel them out, meet at neutral location, multiple times, like 3-6 times, just hanging out, then if we 'click', then and only then maybe invite them to be my roommate.
Who knows...to be continued.
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Post by X factor on Mar 29, 2017 17:15:26 GMT -5
Continued from above... Then sometimes I wonder, I mean I pray to 'God' for a companion, and then get 'female' response for roommate, but then to paranoid to contact them. Is 'God' trying to send me 'love', but I'm to paranoid to open heart or take chance with it? I don't know. I just know people bring drama, pain, disturbances, and my life, as a single person, hard enough to manage, let alone with added human drama...but is that me being selfish?....I don't know... I think it's me being 'safe'. I just don't know, I'm not 'God'...I can't see into the future, and if things go bad, I haven't the power to just vanish back into heaven, like Jesus supposedly did. Nor can I just 'wake up', as I do if having bad dream, in reality, when things go bad, you simply get stabbed. And if already poor, barely making it, that can be devastating. I just don't have the answers right now...sorry... |
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Post by X factor on Aug 21, 2017 21:00:45 GMT -5
I still would rather live alone, and struggle fiscally, than get some Vampire like, 'blair witch' type, fake azz roommate who's only purpose is to destroy me life and make things hard and difficult, no thanks...
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Post by X factor on Dec 10, 2017 9:21:38 GMT -5
Once again changed mind about getting roommate
Yet once again I have changed mind about getting a roommate...why?
1. Seems these days the more isolated and away from others you are, when not working, the longer you live, in that when watch all these homicide detective shows on TV, it's always when victims have others around them, or that 'one', that ends up doing them in.
People are just odd, cannibals, serial killers, sleep talkers, drug users, and more.
I've gotten this far in life cause I've pretty much kept to myself when not working, just seems the more people in your life, the more drama you invite.
Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Lovers, relationships, they all bring drama and passions, and not everyone is 'balanced'.
Even a roommate, who seems calm at first, could bring odd stuff with them, rituals, could develop some kind of 'crush' on you, then when you try to kick them out, or they see you chatting with another, they could get jealous and do odd things.
So I still say I'd rather struggle and be alone than come home to a phycopath (or however spelled).
And if you 'drink', the worst time to ever shop for a roommate is when drunk, cause in doing so you could invite a demon into your place and not no it, oh, you'll know it when sober, but not when drunk.
Cause when drunk, even devils seem kind to you.
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Post by X factor on Dec 22, 2018 14:10:11 GMT -5
It seems I only want a roommate when I'm feeling lonely
It seems I only want a roommate when I'm feeling lonely, and that can be the very wrong reason to seek one, after all the purpose of a roommate is to aleviate fiscal stress, not to aleviate soxual stress, or to ease loneliness (or maybe it is for some)
I mean the first time I got drunk with new roommate in place, would I try to hump them, or them me?, then what?
Then if they don't pay rent, now you're stuck with a partner.
Cause once you get romantic with someone, whether gay, straight, lesbian, crossdresser, Bi, or whatever, once you cross that line you have a mate on your hand, and not really a roommate anymore.
And once person your living with thinks you're their mate or partner, now comes the favors, now comes the excuses of why rent isn't paid on time and so forth.
I often wrestle with myself about would I rather have a openly gay roommate or a 'straight' person.
I mean males who pretend to be very straight all the time can make for very lousy roommates (I imagine) and their their own insecurities would keep them locked up in their room all the time out of fear they might actually like you.
An openly gay roommate, on the other hand, I think would be more relaxing to share space with in that they're open about what they are (doesn't mean they'd be attracted to me)(people don't realize gay's can be very particular, in that just because one is gay, doesn't mean they're attracted to every male who walks in front of them)
Just read the gay adds, and see how particular gay males are and or lesbian females.
But still, I've spoken with LGBTQ types in the past, and the conversations we have are much more broader than those with supposed straight types.
Having a gay roommate would almost be like having a female roommate in a males body.
Not only that but gays tend to groom better than Hetero males, who can be slobs at time, especially as they age.
And older males who are married, particulary in the blue collar world, totally let themselves go, are hairy, fat, hair is greasy looking and worse, and have terrible bathroom manners.
Gay males, on the other hand, regardless of age, tend to groom like women, and are always aware of how they look to others.
If sharing space with another, would have it be a gay male who is clean, and tidy, and doesn't get freaked out if we sit on couch together and watch funny TV show, I'd rather have that than some hairy lumber jack type who farts all the time, messes up bathroom, and doesn't know how to Conversate.
A fem cross dressing roommate would be even better, and or a fem male natural type, in that many younger males just naturally look fem (not that they're gay, it's just nature).
Either way, whomever I lived with I would not want them to visually be a bother to me.
And if they were a female, I'd want them to be a lesbian so I wouldn't have to worry about males roaming around at night, or their boyfriend.
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Post by X factor on Dec 22, 2018 14:23:35 GMT -5
Truth is, most never get their dream roommateTruth is, most never get their dream roommate  Whatever type of roommate you think you want, those who initially respond are always just the opposite. At least with me. If I want young and thin, I get old and fat, if I want bright and white,(perception) I get hood and dark, if I want employed and responsible, the only responses I get are 'Will work for space' type of garbage. I think it's harder for 'B' people to find the right roommate than it is for 'W' types. Cause if younger and white, say of college age, everyone under the sun wants to live with you cause everyone under the sun just assumes that if younger and white, you must be 'alright'...(again perception), but that perception works in peoples favor. And if 'B' and looking for roommate, you can pretty much forget about it unless have very special features, or you know the person ahead of time. That's just how people are, I mean even other 'B's would prefer fem W male or female living with them, someone they think they could control, like a pet. But whites only under this magical spell over others while young, like under the age of 30, but once start taking on that older, dry skin, aged, spent look, well, they may as well be considered 'B' by others in that they're no longer valued 'as is', like when younger. Asians and others? They tend to take care of 'their own', stick with family and culture, so they don't have that same problem, unless 'Americanized'....then they're generic like everyone else. Anyways, let me stop, I'm sure this will provide many in the future with interesting reading and to help them decide on roommate or not. Black females, I left them out of equation...that's for another post.
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Post by X factor on Dec 24, 2018 0:15:43 GMT -5
How come when gay people respond to your roommate add they think the following
How come when gay people respond to your add, they think you either want to scr_w them, or they want to scr_w you??
Some person responded to my roommate add and they were like
Blah blah, this that...and I'm a 'bottom'...what do I care that they're a bottom?
I'm looking for a roommate, not a 'mate', why can't some gay people get that?
I mean if a woman was responding to add, she, the women, wouldn't lead off by saying, 'Oh and by the way I'm submissive in bed'...
See what I'm saying??
So why do some gay people always feel they must lead with their position preference?
I did not ask for a 'bottom', I simply ran a add for a roommate...good grief...
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