Death and dying

Death and Dying comes in many different forms

It's so easy to give up and die, while living, expecially in modern age where so much of our life is attached, glued to, our ability to pay bills on time, and or income.

It's so easy to destroy self when down and out, through conscious or subconscious acts.

Drinking, drugs, reckless sxual encounters, criminal behavior...it's almost like giving yourself an excuse to leave this world.

Darkness almost, or does, become like a comforting blanket to many, when in this stage of depression or hopelessness..

Materialism is a big trap

Yes indeed it is, when we learn to attach self worth and value to things, status, events, that are above our control.

So you can't pay a bill...so what.

If it didn't bother you at 15 why should it bother you at 25 or 35 or 55?

If your cats not bothered by it, why should you be?



There's nothing in this world we get attached to that we can take with us after we pass...nada.

Actually for that reason, the less you have the better, the less stress you'll have.

Humans are the only creatures that hoard stuff, as such we're the most stressed out of all life forms.

Money and greed are the main source of those stresses.

But in other lands, Religion can be the source of stress and strife as well.

Power and control, whether the State is controlling every thing or some religious order.

One thing for sure, man is good at creating sources of stress.

Death and Dying

Not sure it even matters anymore.

Every day on the news we hear of hundreds dying across the world, observe insects dying daily, animals dying.

Death is all around us.

I use to fear death, I know longer do, but do kind of fear method of death.

It's just natural survival instinct to fight death off when occurring.

But to be honest, it doesn't really matter to me anymore whether I die tomorrow or live another 400 years.

Unless rich, life is a struggle daily, unless Loved, have a family, life is lonely.

So you live just to labor basically, labor to pay off things you don't even really have.

You get to a point in your life when you realize things aren't really going to get better, regardless of hearts desire, you realize how rigged everything is, that no matter how bright, no matter how brilliant, if not dialed into the right people or system, it just doesn't matter.

Or if lack money to fund ideas, it just doesn't matter.

Albert Einstein would of been nothing unless tied into University system where he had the funding to experiment on his ideas.

But had Einstein been a share croppers son, no one would of taken him seriously.

And there are many undiscovered Einstein's out there, out here, who just get over looked simply cause not dialed into right system or don't have proper social pedigree.

When apart of labor class, all I can see is body breaking down, getting sick, watching the few around me that I still know and care about get sick, die off, and the feeling of not being able to help them more while alive and or healthy.

All that's sadness to me.

Yet jerks have billions of dollars, and still want more, and can't help simple folks fulfill dreams.

And God?, Hell, Heaven?

None of that matters to me right now.
Nor does any of it really make sense right now.

I don't see, observe, anything different from church going people than I do from any other type of person.

I do community work, they do not.

I do believe in God, but God is defined in so many different ways now.

And even those who claim to worship Jesus, the supposed true God of love, are still mean and always mis judge me and others, yet say God is all knowing and never wrong...yet same people always wrong about your character, your motives and intentions, so obviously the true divine God isn't in them or they would never be wrong about you.

Christians can be, are, just as mean, racially bias, soxually bias, culturely bias, as any other peoples on the planet.

I'm tired...and really just don't care anymore...realize I can't impress anyone anymore.

And live around social ghouls, cursed to live around social ghouls who lack a conscious.

Living around such types really makes me question the idea that God is in control of everything.

The things I see, observe, are just gross.

So whenever God, or fate wants to beam me up, I guess I'm fine with that now, cause I don't really have anything to live or fight for anymore accept memories I suppose.





I think the 8th grade was the best year of my life ever.

"The Savages", we called them, the in Jock crowd.

I think death and dying is eerily worse when you have time to think about it before hand, say do to an illness, or if in military going into battle ect.

Thinking about it ahead of time will bring some comfort, others it will bring turmoil and sadness.

Like the whole question of God and all.

The over all purpose of ones life on Earth.

Lot's of things buzz through the mind, including the 'what I'd do different' scenerio's.

And also faith in a God divine, faith that conscious will be transferred, and not ended.

Faith that a divine being will be able to some how capture your invisible conscious self, and transfer that energy into another realm or body, with memory intact.

That indeed takes faith to believe that.
In the bible it's called 'The resurrection of the dead'.

Meaning that God divine will resurrect the dead, or at least some, and allow some to still live out their purpose.

But there have been billions born outside of the faith of Christianity so what happens to them?

Billions born into tribal cultures, Nazism, Hinduism, paganism, Atheist, and so forth.

I think it's better to believe in something than nothing.

Would rather perish with good thoughts than uncertain ones.

Would rather have last conscious thoughts be positive, than negative.

If I have 4 seconds of living conscious thought, I'd rather those last 4 seconds be spent believing that something better awaits.

If faith keeps a person sane, happy and content, than I see no problem with having faith.

I think I'm ready

I think I'm ready for Death now.

Not to many things stimulate my interest or passion anymore, and the things that do I feel I can never ever obtain.

What's there to look forward to anymore?

Working a dead end job till body breaks down or get injured?, then what?

Life is rigged.

I want to write, but don't know how to write it, keeps changing in mind before can lay out.

Death and dying, a state we're all in, just some quicker than others, in some more obvious than others.

Some die over 50 years, 60 years or longer, others die in one night.

Some die physically, others die emotionally over a long period of time first, before body eventually goes.

Some die mentally strong, at the top of their game, others die mentally weak, with no game at all.

There's really no point to this post, other than it's kind of fun to write stuff while still 'alive and conscious', knowing some day you won't be able to.

Like watching films, movies, hearing songs from those long gone and past, from like the 1920's ect.

Sometimes I think my only health care is a ____, which whenever I feel unhealthy, or health panicked, I sleep with it near by, in that since alone, doubt there'll be any ____ call for me, rather one last ____g and that's it.

If life had no meaning to me while healthy, if couldn't find love while healthy, not sure how things would get better if and when fatally sick.

In prime, no one cares, cared, ignored, seems, at least in 'my world', the only time ghosts and goblins, in human form, want to come around you, is when 'on the way out', when can smell tragedy.

Since didn't matter to anyone while alive, young and healthy, I think when on the way out, I don't want no one to ever see or examine body, I don't want to leave behind any physical evidence that I was ever here.

No one would be at funeral anyways.

Would rather go out into desert, dig on grave, and eternally disappear, no trace that was ever here.

That seems fitting, peaceful and just, for someone like myself...

Nature is clever, when death comes through illness or sickness

Nature is clever, in that when death comes through illness, a long term or rapid illness, by the time it's your turn to expire, you no longer care and see 'death' as 'rest'.

I say that cause usually when most of us think about dying, we're at our physical peak, and so of course dying while physically, in prime, seems absurd and yogarted, as such we tell ourselves

"I'm to healthy to die, I'll fight it, I'm Rambo or Wonder Woman'...huff and puff.

But say when in last stages of illness, and really about to die, all that 'fight' has long left, even the chemicals it took to get excited, long gone, and so when at that stage of dying, illness simply seems more like a blanket, than an enemy.