Alone

When alone at night in your place alone, you sometimes feel when you get up to go to the kitchen, that you'll turn on the light and there will be some figure standing in the hall

Being alone doesn't even make me sad anymore, cause again, when alone there is nothing, and nothing doesn't care or respond to emotions.

If you're paired, and with another, in a loving relationship, be oh so glad.
Cause you have no idea what it's like to be alone, to never have anyone to comfort you, and or to always have others assume you don't even have feelings or are incapable of feeling scared and frightened.

To wake up, and no no one has your back if something goes wrong, can be stressful, is why you try not to think about it.

So just be so very glad and grateful if you're in a loving relationship with another whole take care of you if something goes wrong, and or comforts you even when things go right.

I think I've become to comfortable being alone

I think I've become too comfortable being alone.
And meeting another, now kind of feels more like an intrusion into my peacefulness of being alone.

Sure, being alone makes you feel lonely at times, but then you get drunk, or go out, meet someone for a second, have fun with them while drunk, but after that, you don't really want them in your life until you feel lonely again.

Being in a relationship is a habit for most, most people cannot imagine what it's like to truly be alone for years or decades, most cannot even fathom that, but yet there are people who are, indeed, that alone.

And then maybe you meet someone, it's exciting at first, but the next day, the day after that, that spontaneous moment begins to fade and you fall back into your alone mode, which takes no effort or risk.

As you get older it gets harder to adapt to someone being in your life, your sox drive is lower, and you're just more focused on the basics of life.
Unless super rich that is, when you're rich you can just buy the attention of another, you can keep them interested in you simply by showering them with gifts.
But if not rich, all you can shower another with is your own personal attention....and that takes effort.

The devil, god, whomever, people, other people, are trying to kill me through loneliness.
Will they succeed?