Void

Humans are made up of different inter galactic species...so few get that, that's why some can hunt and others cannot...huh, what?

Don't ever approach me with your low IQ earthly gurgle or I'll cripple your mind.

Just hobbitding.

I just feel sick right now, not physically, just 'sick' as in sick and tired of the same o.

Sick and tired of meaningless tomorrows, meaningless traffic, and traffic lights, meaningless this and that, birds that can take off and fly, soar, get more out of life than your modern day human.

No one understands me, and no one ever will, but I can't allow that to make me bitter.

Feel broken right now

I feel broken right now on this Sunday evening, I just do.

Not that anyone else in real time would notice, but on the inside I really feel broken right now.
Wasted another 3 days off accomplishing absolutely nothing.

It's like on the inside all I want anymore is to win the lottery so I can just retreat in a gigantic Mansion or palace and do absolutely nothing that has to do with earning money for the rest of healthy life.

I'm just tired, mentally tired, not really inspired anymore.

Not inspired by anything within my reach.

Just a lonely tired person is how I feel right now, yet have to get up tomorrow, regardless of how unfulfilled I am on the inside, and go to work, go through the motions.

Work, at least provides a temporary diversion from depressed life I suppose.

I told myself in the past that I'd never get trapped like this, and always knew a life where fiscally stuck would be the end of happiness.

Trapped living around people you have zero in common with is almost like being dead.

I don't know how to escape this, just not rich enough to, or strong enough anymore.

I think if just broke away, left everything, and homeless for a month, would get my hunger back, but then would have to face the consequences of my actions.

Just not very happy right now, at least not in this particulary hour, but it's more than a mood.
I'm happy when I sleep and dream and lay still at night, then I'm happy, but as soon as I wake up, not so happy during the day, positive YES, happy, not really....there's a difference.

Just not sure who or what I'm hanging on for anymore, my own sanity I suppose, or maybe self respect...I don't know.

Void

All I do is sit and think.

It's like nothing effects me, not Corona, not the current riots, or the people on the streets, I just feel detached from it all.

It's as if I'm always 5 seconds ahead or 5 seconds behind where everyone else is at.

As such it creates like a 'void' effect.

As if I'm in a different dimension or something.

Or a ghost floating between other peoples realities, all while trying to find my own.

I don't like it, life use to be fun, I use to could 'smell things', I use to anticipate things, I use to genuinely enjoy others, and the flavor of each persons different personality.

I so want that back, but it just seems fleeting.

And not sure what to do about it, other than to write about it.

What could a psychologist do for me?, tell me what I already know?

So the question should be instead 'what would I do with a psychologist?'.

I'd turn their stupid world upside down, they'd go home, after session and question all that they've learned, and then probably they'd have a drink to calm their frail nerves.