Void

Life can sometimes be so scary or uncomfortable, in decisions that must be made or tasks done, that you don't even want to move or go forward, for going forward is like going through a thick wall of hellish particles with no comfort in sight, and doing so alone.

There may be light on the other side of the thick hellish wall of particles, but while transversing through it it sure doesn't seem or feel like it.

The absence of love, or the feeling of being loved, could be said to be a void.

And that's how I woke up feeling this morning.

That and just a sense of dread and doom, fiscal doom, circumstance doom, as if nothing will ever work out type of doom.

It's not a good feeling to have at all.

As if nothing you do can change fate, as if just going through the motions in a sinking ship.

Especially when pressed by un imagined real time issues.

Even sometimes the smallest things seem big when you have no love.

And the biggest things seem small when you feel loved.

I live and breath underwater for now..

I'm starting to realize there's really no difference between good and evil in as far as fate goes.

In as far as death goes, decay, ultimate outcome.

Whether one is good or evil one still ends up in a lonely graveyard.



Banker or Biker, Lover of cats or animal abuser, Teacher or robber, it don't matter cause in the end all people, regardless of life lived, lessons learned, end up dead.

Religion tries to give us comfort that works related to faith, in this world, will lead to something more promising, some kind of ultimate pay off or something.

But as of lately I just don't see it.

People I thought whom were holy when I was younger, I now realize are just as flawed as any other.

Mean people act nice in public when socially comfortable.

In other words even Satan can be nice if he feels everything is going his way.

People say you can't be born gay, say God wouldn't make anyone that way, yet I see photos like this of people being born deformed.



People can't be born gay, but can be born like this?

Makes no sense, just type in 'deformed' in google search and your heart will break when you see all the genetic defects people are born with and or develop, and these are the physical defects, how many other countless mental defects are people born with in the brain that can't be seen and effect people on a bio chemical level.

And if one defect is a sin, why not make all defects a sin.

I think even in the old bible, olden times even after the bible, people with outward physical defects were indeed banned from societies or out right killed.

None of it makes sense anymore.

People are vile...by choice, now that's one trait that everyone has a choice about.

And I notice more and more people are choosing to be vile, cruel, mean and hateful.

If there ever needed to be another modern day Noah's flood, not sure what 'God' is waiting for, assuming the last one even occurred.

And if it did not sure what good it did in that the population has swollen to numbers that would dwarf the days of Noah, do to industrialization.

And the world is so populated now, mapped out, every square inch of earth is sovereign to some nation that there's just no place to run away to anymore without being enslaved in another form of mundane forced nothing.

Metaphorically I see demons all around me all the time, in humans.

And in ways that are applicable to each own persons environment.

Therefore once people reach the age of accountability, no one is innocent of anything and already have long began developing personality traits that will hurt others.

It's man that deserves to be crucified, not 'Christ'.

Every ones power hungry, and eager to hurt others in blatant or subtle ways.

If you look good, you're persecuted in one way, and if one is unattractive, persecuted in another.

No matter your circumstances, there's always a demon there to torment you.

Sometimes I think though, that the happiest people living within mans realm on Earth, or those without an intellect.

Dumb seems to be a blessing on Earth, kind of a shield to the ugliness of it all.

Devils are starting to displace those who use to be truly good.

TV, media, radio, everything...stuff just pumped into your head and mind, like an intrusion.

Gross images, gross commercials, gross sounds, gross headlines, gross opinions, nasty opinions and more, all this stuff pumped into your mind where the mind then becomes polluted.

Geese and wild Bore don't worry about any of this garbage and still live full cycles of life, so why should we?

Technology has totally polluted the way of life, or actually maybe just they way it's used now, a vehicle in which to carry BS.

I don't feel like talking to anyone right now, I just need an evening of nothing.